im starting a tattoo shop called monsters ink
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Yo its’ okay if you’re a white girl who likes Uggs and spray tans and pop music and instagramming your Starbucks. Don’t let tumblr make you think for one minute that liking things like that makes you inferior.
Same goes for if you’re a hipster trans mexican/japanese Pizza Underground enthusiast with a hello kitty neck tattoo.
If you’re not hurting anyone, you be you. There’s nothing wrong with that.
PRAISE
yesterday this hipster at starbucks started hitting on me and it was awkward
like how does your kind feel about you flirting with a fandom
the captivating story of the star crossed lovers
she was fandom
he was hipster
their love was forbidden
they fell anyways
well i did trip and fall out the door when i left
life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.” months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”
imagine getting a tattoo and then hearing the tattoo artist going like “oops”
heres the realest shit ever: literally no one is going to pressure you to do drugs in high school
literally no one
an encounter i had in 10th grade in a bathroom
person: hey we’re about to smoke some pot do you want some?
me: nah i got a test in like 20 minutes i just have to pee
person: alright good luck
actual highschool party I’ve been to
person: I brought beer!
people: aaaaaaa yyyyeeeaaahhh
person: want some?!?!
Me: no I don’t drink
person: GOOD MORE FOR US HERE’S SOME SODA
On the bus:
Dude: Do you want a cigarette?
Me: Dude I’m asthmatic. I’d die.
Dude: Okay, cool, cool.
6th period math:
friend: hey, you want a weed brownie?
me: nah I’m good.
friend: cool.
Lunch
Some girl: You guys wanna smoke weed in the stairwell??
Us: not really
Girl: Okay friends, if you want any later my name’s Zoey, i always sit here
Guy: do you want a cigarette?
Me: I don’t smoke
Guy: good, don’t start
(that happened on multiple occasions with different people)
Seriously I was pressured into reading the Twilight books 1000x more than any drugs or alcohol
The last one
whenever i leave a store without buying anything and i have a bag with me i’m always convinced that the owners will think i’m shoplifting so i try my hardest to wear an expression that says “i am not a shoplifter” but i’m fairly certain that i just end up looking like i have recently killed a family of 5 and eaten them for breakfast
